国外段友：凯恩转会，枪迷笑嘻……直到欧冠抽到拜仁

2023年8月12日凌晨1点的拜仁体检室，视频里哈里-凯恩现身。

Got_ist_tots: 视频太模糊，还不知道是哪个哈里。(Blurry vid. Could be any Harry.)

chino17@Got_ist_tots: 踢伪九号的波特。(Potter as false 9.)

enterusernamethere: 哈里-马奎尔见到自己的粉丝感到很愉快。(Harry Maguire is happy to see some people being nice to him.)

saltybiped: 然后体检没过。(He fails the medical.)

TherelsBearCum: 队医拿掉眼睛和假胡子一看是列维。(Doctor removes his glasses and fake moustache and it's just Daniel Levy.)

阿兰-希勒在推特上催凯恩加盟拜仁慕尼黑。

注：如果凯恩转会的德甲，希勒就能保住自己英超历史射手榜榜首的位置，暂时……当然了，过不了几年他还得为哈兰德操心。

ThefrozenOstrich: 这不萨巴莱塔嘛。(That’s Zabaletta.)

Studio_Panoptek: 好家伙这个希勒P图可以的，法布里奇奥（罗马诺）应该雇他做事。(Man this Shearer guy is pretty good at Photoshop, Fabrizio should hire him.)

bubbymurphy2020: 能来个人把哈兰德P到后面暗中观察嘛？(Can someone photoshop Haaland in there somewhere in the back observing？)

Hutzbutz: 我可是专业的，别在自己在家尝试。(Im a professional, dont try this at home.)

shaka_bruh@Hutzbutz: 沃靠你真应该开个班儿啊。(Shit you should start offering lessons.)

视频：当阿兰-希勒听说凯恩终于要离开热刺时

8月11日，凯恩已经到达，但托特纳姆取消了他的飞行许可。

Dincht04:列维看到凯塞多都卖了1.11亿，那凯恩怎么也得2亿。(Levy saw £111m for Caicedo and now wants £200m for Kane.)

ATWPH77: 准确地说是超级加倍2.22亿。(222m to be precise.)

TMJ1BBox: 英国航空公司12:35从希思罗机场飞往慕尼黑，Skyscanner(天巡)收费67英镑起。你自己付吧哈里，赶紧走吧。(British Airways 12:35 from Heathrow to Munich, from £67 on Skyscanner. Pay your own way Harry, go on.)

aayu08: 如果交易黄了凯恩还是（合同到期）去切尔西吧，波切蒂诺和凯恩手举切尔西球衣的照片肯定能让大部分热刺球迷昏过去。(If this falls through Kane should just go to Chelsea, a picture with Poch and Kane together holding a Chelsea shirt will break most of their fans.)

Southportdc@aayu08: 挺敢想啊，你咋知道凯恩合同到期去切尔西时波切蒂诺还在？(Bold of you to assume Poch will still be there when Kane's contract is up.)

DudeIsland: 可能当时已经二进宫了。(He might be there again)

视频：当凯恩开始为自己制定新的挑战……

8月10日，奥恩斯坦：哈里凯恩即将加盟拜仁慕尼黑。

CometChip: 拜仁一个赛季都没世界级中锋了然后才说“唉我受不了了”。(Bayern went 1 season without a world class striker and said “nah i can’t live like this”)

JPLThompson97: 多特蒙德就要联赛夺冠了。(Dortmund league title incoming.)

Vegan_Puffin: 谁对冠军更加饥渴？多特还是凯恩。谁身上的诅咒更强，让我们拭目以待。(Who wants a trophy less, Dortmund or Kane. Whose curse is stronger, find out next time.)

视频：当图赫尔将凯恩加到球队进攻阵容中后……

Sand_Bags: 如果这个赛季拜仁联赛没夺冠，这将是最搞笑的事情。(If this is the year that Bayern finally don’t win the title it will go down as the funniest thing that’s ever happened.)

phigo50: 还有更搞笑的——热刺赢了个冠军。(Funnier still if Tottenham win something.)

The_Aict: 阿森纳球迷已笑嘻……直到欧冠不可避免地与拜仁分到一起。(Arsenal fans rejoice....Till the inevitable matchup with Bayern in CL.)

Elvis_Tunde: 听说热刺需要为凯恩找替代者，我认识个家伙：(Heard Spurs need a replacement for Harry Kane, I know a guy.)